Ken Chow woke to the murmur of voices. Familiar voices. Fellow policemen from his troop.

"Siu Wah is doing well. He is awake and asking for his father," the first voice stated.

"Yes. There is that to be thankful for. The doctors think Ken will be awake soon. For all his injuries, he is doing well," the second voice agreed.

"Dick?"

"Not so good. Lost a lot of blood they say. Wounds to both leg and shoulder, the leg the worst. But even so, his wounds have been repaired. He should be doing better. Instead there is infection. He is very ill."

"They say he avenged Chow's family. Broke apart the weapons ring. Even the sergeant has had to step away from the charges he had wanted to file."

"Ken had a little something to do with that too," the second voice rejoined wryly.

"Of course, of course. I just mean...."

"I know what you mean. They are both heroes. Avenged Ho Ting and Ken's family. Put down that scum Ted Yiu and his gang. We all knew he was not the innocent--that he had not gone straight as his grandfather had claimed. Now there is proof."

Ken did not open his eyes, instead trying to orient himself to his surroundings without visual input. The smell of antiseptic assailed his nostrils, and that, along with the thread of dialogue led him to realize he was in a hospital. Surrounded, it would seem, by his friends on the force--just as they had rallied to him when Siu Wah had first been brought to hospital. The fact that the pain he had last been aware of was less overwhelming and he felt logy with drugs confirmed the fact.

He was not sure how he came to be here. His last conscious memory had been of struggling across the parking lot of the bus terminal, urging Dick Lee on even as his friend collapsed to the ground at his feet, pale, spent, already unconscious. Ken's one thought had been to reach a phone, or the radio in Dick's car, to call for help. Perhaps he had done so, then collapsed himself. He would have to ask someone.

Dick was alive then. Ken breathed a silent prayer of thanksgiving. In his horror and grief over the murder of his wife and daughter, the grave injuries of his son, he had lashed out at his friend for not being there, not doing more. It had caused Lee --usually the stable, levelheaded voice in their partnership and friendship--to launch on an insane course of revenge, alone. When Ken had caught up to him at the bus terminal, his friend had already been wounded, had already been faltering. The promise he had extracted from Chow had been that of a man who sensed his life was over. Yet somehow he had struggled on, crawling from the bus to aid Ken in killing Ted. Avenged Fan's death and that of his daughter. Avenged Siu Wah's injuries.

Dick was not doing well.

Ken opened his eyes.

Dick Lee's features were pale, almost indistinguishable from the stark white of the hospital linens against which he was propped. He was unnaturally still, only the rise and fall of his chest confirming that he yet lived. An IV snaked across the bed and into his arm, dual lines of blood and fluids. An oxygen mask covered the lower half of his face. A heart monitor beeped slowly, steadily in the background.

"You should be in your own bed," the nurse scolded Ken as he sat in the wheelchair next to Dick's bed. He had just been rolled here from Siu Wah's room, heartened by the improvement he saw in the only living member of his family. His son, for his part, had been reassured by Chow's being fit enough to sit at his side.

Once the boy had fallen asleep, Ken had demanded to be taken to Dick's room. There had been some opposition. Lee was in an intensive care cubicle, the infection raging through his body requiring constant monitoring. But Chow had been obstinate. As only he could be.

If his friend were to die, he would not do so alone.

"How is he?" Ken asked the nurse, ignoring her comment.

"It does the patient no good to have his condition discussed before him." The nurse warned. She came closer, whispering in Chow's ear, "His leg wound was the most serious of the two. An artery was nicked, there was muscle damage, possibly trauma to the nerves as well.. It was a miracle he survived to reach the hospital. His wound was filthy, as though he had dragged himself along polluted ground. His body was so weakened by blood loss, infection has overtaken him. The doctor now fears pneumonia. That happens sometimes, the body just begins to shut itself down, infections of many types take over."

"Is there any hope?" Ken whispered back, heartsick, his gaze never leaving his friend.

"There is always hope, if a patient has the will to live. I've seen worse cases returned to health. You can sense the fighting spirit in those cases," the nurse confided.

"Do you sense it in him?" Ken pressed.

The nurse straightened, cast a sad, sidelong look at her primary patient. "No, I don't," she admitted somberly, patting Ken's shoulder sympathetically. She left the room.

Chow fought back the tears that sprang, unbidden, to his eyes.

Regaining his composure through force of will, Ken painfully rolled the wheelchair closer to the bed. Dick Lee's IV-free left arm lay lax at the edge of the bed, palm up. Chow reached up to cover Lee's hand with his own.

"You must be well, Dick Gor," Ken spoke aloud, any self consciousness in the action overwhelmed by his need to communicate with his friend in the only way left to him. He had to hope that Lee would hear him, "Siu Wah asks for his Uncle. He is doing so well, old friend. He is going to be fine."

Ken paused, studying his friend's pale face intently. No reaction.

"You've always been good to my family, Dick. They loved you. You avenged them. They are at peace now. You have my thanks."

Ken sat silently for a few minutes, watching the rise and fall of Lee's chest, noting the sheen of perspiration on his unconscious friend's forehead. That and the warmth radiating from the hand beneath his fingers told of the fever raging through Dick's body.

This wasn't right. Dick had always had a passion for living--passion that led him to some unwise decisions at times--Ken had never really approved of his friend's club hopping lifestyle. Nor had Fan, who had made it her life's mission to find someone for Lee to settle down with, a good girl to tame his wild streak.

Dick had always been the vibrant one, always smiling, endlessly charming--a man you couldn't help but admire and love, even when he was promoted over you. The good things that had come to Dick Lee were things that had been earned. Ken knew only too well that he had often been his own worst enemy, his low anger flash point getting in the way when diplomacy was called for. But Lee, with his endless good humor and easy smile, had been a natural to rise in the ranks, the type of guy you cheered for when the promotion lists were posted.

Ken couldn't begin to count the times Dick had deflected supervisory heat away from him. Much as he had only days ago, in the police locker room. Lee had taken on the sergeant, distracting the petty bureaucrat away from his ire for Ken. Only the latest in a long list of favors he owed Lee.

And when tragedy had struck his family, how had he repaid this man, who had been so like a brother to him, who was godfather to his son? He had blamed Lee for not firing sooner at the assassin who had held Siu Wah hostage on the rooftop, blamed Dick for the fall that had nearly claimed his son's precious life.

He knew now that Lee had been right to hesitate--that shooting the thug would have ended much the same as the accident had--the assassin had held his son close, a bullet in his brain would have caused the same fall, the same tragedy. Dick had been trying to convince the criminal to let the boy go when Ken had reached the roof, using his hostage negotiator skills to try to purchase Siu Wah's freedom. Chow had realized that vengeance had burned away some of the rage and grief that had clouded his reason.

But then.....then he had ordered Lee to go away, accused him of not being any kind of friend. Had driven him physically away from Siu Wah's side and whatever comfort any of them might have derived in their mutual anguish over the boy.

And Dick had gone. Blazed away to find Chow's own cache of guns in the boatyard and hijack them. Overpowered Ken himself to pursue his own grief maddened course of revenge. Been willing to lay down his life for his friend's family--the family that Lee had always loved and treated as his own.

"I ask your forgiveness, my friend," Ken said aloud, finally, his hand closing gently but firmly over Dick's lax one. "I was wrong to blame you for what happened to Siu Wah. I know you would never do anything to harm my boy. You were doing the best you could on the roof. I was wrong to send you away. Your grief was as great as my own. We should seek comfort in our loss, not find blame. It is I who am not worthy to be your friend. I don't expect that you can ever forgive me, but I am asking you to try."

Ken willed his friend to somehow acknowledge his apology, straining to study the unconscious man, every sense tuned to any response that Dick might be able to make. But there was nothing. Nothing but the beeping of the heart monitor, the steady sighing of the oxygen machine, and the rise and fall of Lee's chest.

He looked at Penny sadly. She had said she loved him. She had shown it--misguided though her efforts had been--luring him away from the Chow family flat just before the assassins had struck.

Her last actions had been protective, placing her body between his and Ted's, counting that her childhood triad crush would have enough regard for her not to shoot.

She'd been horribly, tragically wrong. Had died in his arms. Shot in the back by her gangster lover.

Had he loved her?

His feelings about that were mixed. Theirs had been a strong, animal attraction, that in time, could have grown into something more lasting. He believed that. But she had betrayed him, time and again. She had stood by Ted Yiu, even as he targeted the innocent lives of the Chow family. Better that he had been there when the assassins had struck--perhaps Ken's wife and daughter would still be alive--Siu Wah uninjured, if the odds had been more balanced earlier in the struggle.

And had he died there, in Ken's flat--so much the better.

His shame was too much to bear.

Penny faded away, floating towards darkness, as she had in life, reuniting with the man who had ultimately been her murderer. Their fates eternally linked.

Dick turned, and saw the figures of Fan and her daughter in the mists that swirled around him. He shouted out an apology to them--expressed his shame for his failure. For his responsibility in Siu Wah being hurt.

The duo looked at him, smiling sadly, and nodding, turned away.

He could let go now. Seek the peace that had evaded him in the last days of his life. He'd held on this long--not sure why or how--but he had. He was tired and wanted to rest.

Ken was not here. Nor was Siu Wah. That meant they were alive, not peopling this antechamber to death. As much as he wished he could speak to them, offer his apologies and express his shame, it was beyond his ability to accomplish. Their survival would have to do--perhaps in their next lives, he would find a way to make it up to them

"....ask your forgiveness, my friend....."

The voice caught Lee's attention. It was Ken's voice. Speaking to him here, where it should not have been possible....

"...was wrong to blame you for what happened to Siu Wah. I know you would never do anything to harm my boy. "

Dick spun, looking for Ken among the mists. Had he been wrong? Was Chow here, dying-- as he was?

"...You were doing the best you could on the roof. I was wrong to send you away. Your grief was as great as my own. We should seek comfort in our loss, not find blame..."

No, it could not be. Ken could not be here. Dick's sacrifice could not be for nothing. Siu Wah needed his father, could live without his uncle Dick.

"It is I who am not worthy to be your friend. I don't expect that you can ever forgive me, but I am asking you to try."

Dick could see nothing. But the voice. He heard it, loudly, clearly.

He was tired and he wanted to let go.

He could not. He had something to say to Ken first.

Chow's chin hit his chest, waking him abruptly. Sitting here next to Lee was taking a toll on his energy, a fact that a veritable parade of hospital staff had tried to impress upon him. But Ken had steadfastly refused to leave, even going so far as to engage in a bit of a wrestling match with an orderly over control of the wheelchair not long ago. Hospital staff had finally given up, muttering that if the patient would not be responsible for his own health, neither would they be.

He had been sitting here for several hours now, death watch or vigil, he knew not which. He dared not hope, he feared to think.

He had done what he could. Told Dick of his error, offered his apology. Now he could only wait and offer, by his presence, his strength and friendship. It would probably not be enough. But he owed it to his friend to do what he could.

Chow's pain medication was wearing off, and nearly every part of his body hurt, in the sick debilitating way that body trauma did. If they had offered him a bed in this same room, he would have jumped at it. Perhaps he would try requesting the same the next time a nurse or doctor darkened the door. They would eventually, to check on Lee, take his temperature, replace the medication in his IV lines.

He almost did not notice the change, so distracted was he by his own aching body and heartsick soul. But something told him to look at Dick more carefully, and he did. And he saw.

Above the oxygen mask, Lee's eyes were open and looking at him, in recognition--and something else.

Anguish.

Ken's heart leapt in his chest. In spite of his own injuries, he levered himself up and out of the chair, leaning over his friend's bed, gripping first the bed rail, then groping for Dick's hand.

"Ah-Dick!" he exclaimed, searching his friend's face, hoping for a tangible sign of improvement other than open eyes. There really was nothing. He was still pale, still looked feverish.

Dick's expressive eyes followed him as he moved closer, searching Chow's face, their look of misery never changing.

Lee's hand, with surprising strength, moved out of Ken's light grasp and reached for the oxygen mask that covered his face, pulling it down.

"Ah-Ken," came the low, labored whisper, "Siu Wah?"

"He is going to be fine, the doctors have said so. He has been asking for you. Wants to know why his Uncle Dick does not come to visit him." Ken responded. His heart wrenched as he saw a tear form in the corner of Lee's eye and slide down his cheek.

"...Has no uncle, now. Did not protect my godson....not worthy..." Dick's eyes closed, as though to shut out the world.

"Dick Gor! NO! It was an accident. There was nothing either of us could have done. He was holding the boy, so tightly, a bullet would have not changed the outcome. He is going to be fine, believe that, please do not speak so! I was wrong, wrong to blame you! Forgive me! Please Dick!"

The eyes opened again, still filled with agony.

"No..." he said quietly, "you were...right...to blame...me...I'm sorry, Ah-Ken. There can be no....forgiveness...for what I failed to do. My shame--"

Lee's eyes closed, his head lolled, his hand, still at the oxygen mask, was limp and nerveless.

"AH-Dick!" Ken shouted, cradling his friend's face with both his hands, turning the slack features toward him. "No! Listen to me!"

Let go.....

The alarm on the heart monitor sounded, its electronic scream filling the room.

Ken sobbed, without realizing. His energy failed him and he collapsed back into his wheelchair.

He might have fallen further, but hands eased him down, soothing voices surrounded him. The wheelchair moved back and away from the bed. As he watched, nurses and doctors flooded into the room, blocking his view of Lee, frenzied activity whirling around the sad, prone figure on the hospital bed. Chow wanted to protest, wanted to fight to stay at his friend's side. But his strength was gone.

And so was Lee.

He hadn't been able to reach his friend--hadn't been able to ease and repair the way between them. He had failed. The knowledge of that failure was a weight on his soul.

The wheelchair continued to back out of the room. Chow looked around to see that his fellow police from the special investigation team, who had never been far away, were surrounding him again, taking over control of the wheelchair, returning him to his room.

He never remembered reaching it.

When next Chow awoke, it was to a feeling of horrible emptiness, of loss compounded by loss. He had dreamt about his wife. About his daughter. About his friend.

He awakened thinking of funerals. Of saying good-bye. Of explaining to Siu Wah that three of the most important people in his young life were gone--never to be seen again. In this life, at least.

The murmured voices were back, so low in tone that it took concentration to make out what they were saying. He wasn't sure that he wanted to. Did not want to be reminded of all that had happened, of all that had been lost.

"--arranged everything....Ah Ken will have nothing to do but attend, if his doctors let him. The entire CID will turn out...."

"Hong Kong will have no police protection that day, if that is true."

"So I exaggerate...we will attend in force--all of the Special Investigations Team-- to show our support and respect."

"It should be later rather than sooner, to give Ken a chance to recuperate. He will want to be there. It is his right."

"They are calculating auspicious dates. I am sure that is also a consideration."

No wonder he had awakened to the thought of funerals--his fellow officers, holding vigil in his room, had been discussing them at length and for who knew how long.

Dick Lee's funeral.

They would give him, it seemed, , a hero's farewell. That was only right. Dick had been a hero--had brought justice, if not the law, to bear on Ted Yiu and his gang.

"I will be there," Chow opened his eyes and spoke. His friends, lost in their conversation, jumped involuntarily, startled by his voice. "Whether doctors permit or not."

"Of course! It was thought only to relieve you of the business of it. They were your family. Of course you will be there," A big cop named Wen, soothed, coming close. "You are doing well, Ken, they should not fight you on it. You can attend the funerals and come back here to continue your recuperation afterward."

Chow looked at Wen, puzzled. The funeral discussed was that of his wife and daughter? He had not expected that he, troublemaker of the CID would rate department involvement in the memorialization of his family, however informally. Most people liked to distance themselves from trouble.

"What of the ceremony for Dick Lee?" Ken asked, confused. His head was foggy--the drugs again. "Hasn't it been arranged?"

Wen looked taken aback, "No Ken!"

"Then I will see to it. He had no family, you know. Parents long dead, no siblings. I think that is why he was so attentive to my family, having none of his own." Ken mused sadly, tears gathering in his eyes.

"Ken, you don't understand." another officer, Ming, stood and walked to Ken's bedside.

"Is it over then? How long have I been asleep? Have you already held his funeral?"

"No, Ken. Listen! You misunderstand. Dick Lee is not dead."

Chow looked from Ming to Wen disbelievingly. How could that be true? He had seen his friend die--held his face between his own two hands....was this a c ruel joke? Did they think to protect him from reality by telling him fairy tales?

"But I saw---" Ken began.

Ming waved him off. "He had a crisis, it is true. His heart stopped. But he was revived. You had been taken back to your room by then, you couldn't know. While you slept, he began to improve. His infection is under control, he will even keep his leg. There is some worry about whether or not he will regain full use of it, but there is hope that he will."

Dick was alive? It didn't seem possible....

Ken blinked, trying to absorb it all. He smiled. His friend was going to live. He did not have to go to Siu Wah and explain yet another loss to the boy. Did not have to mourn another member of his family.

"Daddy!" Siu Wah's voice erupted from the vicinity of the doorway.

"Son!" Ken's face split into a grin as he saw his son sitting in a wheelchair, being rolled through the door by the nurse who had stood watch in Dick Lee's room.

Burly Officer Wen went to the boy and scooped him out of the wheelchair, depositing Siu Wah with touching gentleness on the bed beside his father. Ken embraced his boy, tears of joy streaming unapologetically down his cheeks.

"Daddy! You've been sleeping so long! They told me you wore yourself out! Have you rested? Are you all right now, Daddy?" Siu Wah asked, looking at him in childish intensity.

"Yes, son, I'm all right. And so are you. And so is Uncle Dick. We will see him soon! Cheer him up," he promised, holding his son closer.

It was a promise that took longer to keep than Ken would have liked. He had so overtaxed his own fragile energy with his twin vigils, that he found it impossible to stay awake for very long.

Siu Wah with the resilience of the very young, improved rapidly and was soon moved out of the critical wards and into his father's room.

Having his son nearby was, indeed, a comfort and a distraction to Ken. They had discussed, in solemn and sad tones, the loss of mother and sister. Siu Wah had known--Ken had not been sure he did, so quickly had the assassin who held him hostage grabbed him--that they were dead in the moments after it had happened. Together they plumbed the depth of their grief and began to find ways to overcome it. To go on. They had to, for each other.

There had been some political wrangling in the department in the wake of the breaking of Ted's gang. Sergeant Siu Wu had attempted to file charges against both Lee and Chow as he had promised at the boatyard. But the more results minded officers above him had quickly squelched any retribution. The press, it seemed, had latched on to the story of two brave cops who faced triad gunrunners to the death and survived, and all of Hong Kong had been lauding the two, waiting and watching anxiously for news of their respective conditions. The newspapers were full of headlines regarding their survival, editorials praised their courageous stand against triad corruption. When Siu Wu had complained about the injustice of the actions--of how Ken and Dick had flaunted proper procedure, he'd found himself reassigned. The higher ups knew a publicity gold mine when they saw it and wished to ride the tide of public esteem for as long as it lasted.

So it was, between his own recuperation, and the questioning of his police superiors, several days before Ken found himself wheeling into the room of his friend.

Dick was no longer in the critical ward, moved instead just a few doors down the corridor from Ken and Siu Wah.

Entering the room,Chow noted an immediate difference as he approached his friend's bed--the face that lay against the pillows was a much healthier shade and the oxygen mask was gone. No heart monitor beeped in the background, and the multiple IVs that had seemed to dominate the room had vanished.

Ken moved the wheelchair as close to his friend's bedside as he could. Lee was sleeping, his eyes closed, his face lax in repose. That was as it should be. Dick needed his rest. They had all been through so much. Lost so much. It was enough to sit here and know that his friend was alive.

Ken would, whether Lee wanted to listen or not, make his friend understand that nothing had truly changed. That they were still friends and brothers. Would again apologize to Dick and extract forgiveness for his wrongheaded, rage induced accusations.

It might not be easy, but it would be done.

They had been there, surrounding him, keeping him from reaching the light that had beckoned him towards peace.

Fan had looked at him angrily--an emotion he had never seen on her beautiful face while she had lived. No, she'd always looked at him with affectionate indulgence. The change had brought him up short.

"Who will protect Ken now? " she had accused, shaking a finger at him, "Who will help him to raise Siu Wah to manhood?"

Dick hadn't had words for a response. Hadn't been able to bear the disappointment he saw not just on Fan's features, but those of her daughter. Ken's precious wife and daughter.

"You owe Ken. You cannot leave him. You cannot abandon Siu Wah. He will not understand." Fan's denouncement continued. "We had no choice. You do."

The light, the peace had faded. He had come back to himself in the middle of white coated figures hovering around him and incredible pain. And somewhere, beyond all that, Ken Chow being rolled away in a wheelchair, unconscious.

He knew, somehow, that Ken had been wounded even more seriously than he had. That his friend's multiple injuries should have claimed his life far more easily than those Dick himself had nearly succumbed to. But Chow had something to live for. His son. The last of his family. Siu Wah would have had no one, if Ken had given up. Chow's life force burned strong and unwavering. For his son.

He, on the other hand, had everything to die for. His own family was long gone. Penny, with whom he had thought there might be a future, dead as well. His shame over his allowing her to lure him away from the attempted assassination of Ken and his family, his failure to save Siu Wah when the opportunity presented itself, burned hotly, open wounds that could never fully heal.

Ken had offered him forgiveness, in the form of an apology for his own accusations, his pushing Lee away, denying their friendship. Dick knew he did not deserve the gesture, had denied it before trying to let go.

He still owed the debt. As Fan had reminded him. It would not be left to another time, another life. It had to be repaid in this one. He understood that now. It was this knowledge that kept his spirit tied to his body.

He had already begun the repayment.

"Daddy, why doesn't Uncle Dick wake up? How can we cheer him if all he does is sleep?" Siu Wah complained, squirming on his father's lap as they sat together, at Dick Lee's bedside.

"Uncle Dick has been very ill. He needs his rest. He will awaken soon, and we will cheer him then. For now, we must be quiet."

"But does Uncle Dick know we are here? How can he know if we are so quiet?" Siu Wah persisted with a child's logic.

Ken wasn't sure he had a response for that one. It was difficult to explain the value of a quiet presence to a child just beginning to feel himself again after a grievous injury.

And in fact, Ken was concerned about Lee, that his recovery was not as assured as the doctors seemed to think. He had come to sit with his friend every day for the past week, but Lee never awakened, never displayed an awareness of the outside world. Were there not so many obvious signs of his return to eventual health, Chow might have believed he was back where he started, sitting at his friend's side, not knowing if he held a vigil or a death watch, all over again.

"I don't know, son. But I believe he does know we are here. And will return to us, when he is ready. We must be patient." Ken soothed, unable to think of anything else to say.

The two sat in silence for a moment, contemplating the situation.

"I am here, Siu Wah," a voice came from the bed, startling both Chow and his son.

Dick was awake, his eyes fixed on both of them. A small smile played on his lips, a smile that did not quite reach his eyes, which still looked haunted and unhappy.

"Uncle Dick! We've been waiting SO long! How do you feel?" Siu Wah stood up and moved closer to Lee's bed. Before Ken could tell him not to, he was clambering--albeit gingerly-- up onto the bed and sitting himself at his godfather's side.

Dick seemed entranced at Siu Wah's animation and evident good health. He reached a hand up to cup against the boy's cheek, "I am fine, Siu Wah. And you are recovered!" he exclaimed, in unfeigned amazement.

"Of course! Just as you told me I would be when you came to see me in the hospital before! I remember most clearly even though it was a long time ago now. You remember don't you? When Daddy left the room for a few minutes and you snuck in, saying you were playing a game with him. I wanted to come to see you before this. But they would not let me."

Chow's gaze sought Lee's. He remembered how Dick had told him of visiting Siu Wah, when they faced off in the boat house. How he had claimed that the boy had recognized him. Ken hadn't been sure at the time if that had been the truth or a ploy to lure him back to the safety of his son's bedside. Away from pursuit of revenge, a reminder of his obligations to his son. He had reminded Ken that while he had everything to lose, Dick had nothing.

Lee 's gaze met his for a moment, then broke away, returning to an awed study of the boy.

"You are all the medicine your uncle needs for now," Dick said, pulling the boy into an embrace which the youngster happily returned. Content, the boy eased himself beside Lee, cuddling against his beloved "uncle".

Seeing Dick flinch a bit, as the child settled near Lee's wounded leg, Ken opened his mouth as though to reprimand his son. Lee gestured him back into silence. The eyes that met Chow's were, for the moment at least, less haunted, filled instead with wonderment and the glisten of unshed tears.

"He's missed you Dick Gor. You must promise him never to go away again." Ken spoke quietly. Siu Wah, tired from his vigil over his godfather, was already dozing in Lee's arms.

Dick looked at Ken, a conflicted expression taking over the softer emotion of moments before.

"Sometimes partings are for the best. Sometimes the past that stands between people makes them inevitable." Lee's voice was soothing in tone, designed not to disturb or alarm the child next to him. But his meaning was unmistakable.

Ken shook his head, sadly. "You will not forgive me then."

"Ah Ken....no." Lee began, "I cannot forgive where there has been no offense. You were right. Everything you said was right. I was not there when I should have been. I did not take the shot that would have freed your son. These are all facts. They cannot be denied, nor can they be changed."

Ken had wondered, at first bitterly, what business had called Dick away from Chow's home that fateful night. Lee had not specified when he left, and they had not spoken of it. But slowly, Ken realized that it was not important--whether business or personal in nature, Dick's departure would not have substantially changed events. He had come back, as quickly as he could. He had killed at least one of their attackers when Ken had been nearly overwhelmed by the struggle. They had been dealing with madness that night--that anyone survived, a miracle.

"If you cannot forgive me, then you must forgive yourself." Ken replied in measured tones, meeting Lee's eyes, not allowing the other man to break the gaze.

Dick laid his cheek against the top of Siu Wah's sleeping head, "For what happened to your son. To your wife. To your daughter. I cannot."

Chow sighed, "You are not the Dick Lee I've known all these years. The Dick Lee I know told me once that 'trouble shared is trouble halved.' He was right about that, maybe not in the way he first intended, but in the end, he was right. My family knows peace because of what you did, almost at the cost of your own life. I would forgive you, if there were anything to forgive, Ah Dick. You've more than paid for any failing you might have had."

Lee said nothing, squeezing his eyes shut. His cheek still pressed against the top of Siu Wah's head. He clung to the boy as a drowning man clutches a life preserver, tears trailing down his face silently.

" 'I will stand by you, no matter how serious it is'. You told me that once too." Ken persisted, relentlessly, "I'm holding you to it. Raising a boy alone. I don't think I can do that. I'm going to need help. Siu Wah will need his Uncle Dick. "

Siu Wah stirred, roused perhaps, at mention of his name. The boy raised himself on one elbow, looking sleepily first to his father, then up at Lee. His features clouded when he saw the tears coursing down his godfather's face.

"Uncle Dick! Don't cry! We are all together now! Everything will be all right!" the boy soothed in the guileless way of children, "We came to cheer you, uncle! Cheer up!" The boy reached up to wipe the tears from Lee's face.

Lee captured the small hand, and kissed it, patting the boy on the head, and holding him close for a moment. Then, with considerable effort, he sat the child up and gestured to Ken to take him.

Ken urged the bewildered child into his arms, grunting as Siu Wah slid into his lap on the wheelchair.

Dick turned away, facing the wall.

Ken sighed, hugging his son close.

"What is wrong with Uncle Dick?" Siu Wah asked plaintively, bewildered by his godfather's reaction.

"He has been ill, Siu Wah. He needs his rest." Ken murmured to the child. He looked at Lee for a moment longer, then backed the wheelchair out of the room.

The early November day was unseasonably warm the day the Chow family was laid to rest, the sun shone beautifully and strong. It seemed almost as though summer had returned for one day.

Voices chanted the sutras, items were burned in effigy for the ease of the dead in the life beyond. Ken Chow and his son, wearing the traditional clothing of mourning, prostrated themselves on the ground in the accepted ritual of farewell to wife and daughter, mother and sister.

Ken rose awkwardly from the ritual prostration, allowing the men that surrounded him to help him to his feet. His fellow officers, as promised, had turned out in force this day.

Siu Wah stood at his father's side, his hand reaching for Ken's. The boy looked small and lost in his mourning clothing. It had been a long, difficult day for both of them.

Ken had been released from the hospital just the day before, Siu Wah with him. Fellow officers on the special investigation team had taken the duo to a borrowed flat. Their own home in ruins, Chow had not yet decided their future course. The old flat could be repaired and renovated, but was so full of memories, both bittersweet and horrific, that Ken found himself desiring to start over, in a completely new environment.

The offer of their temporary home had been a godsend--rent free for several months, with its own amah, it would allow Ken and Siu Wah a chance to heal, emotionally as well as physically from their ordeal.

Ken looked across the expanse of grass to where a lonely figure sat, huddled in a wheelchair, his only companion a nurse from the hospital. Dick Lee attended the ceremony against medical advice, his own discharge from the hospital at least two weeks into the future. Ming came to stand next to Chow, touching his arm.

"Wen offered to bring him here and back to the hospital, but he preferred to hire his own transportation, and pay the nurse out of his own pocket. And she is only here because it was a condition of his being allowed to leave the hospital. I don't know what he is going to do when he is released. He refuses all offers of assistance."

Ken nodded sadly. Dick Lee was going to need ongoing care for a few weeks beyond his hospital discharge, including transport to and from the physical therapy sessions designed to restore his injured leg to full function. His team mates stood ready to help--as they had Ken and Siu Wah, but Lee was having none of it.

"He sends everyone away who tries to help him." Ming continued, shaking his head. "This was all his doing, you know."

Ken looked up abruptly, fixing Ming with a penetrating, angry stare.

"I don't mean it was his fault, Ken! I mean that he saw to all the arrangements. Ordered that all the Taoist and Buddhist rituals be observed. Paid for everything."

Ken's anger was replaced by puzzlement, "How is that possible, he has not been well enough...."

Ming looked at Chow intently, "Most of it was settled before you two went after Ted Yiu. He arranged the rest from his hospital bed, after the crisis."

The crisis referred to, Ken realized, was Dick Lee's own near death, which Ken had witnessed.

"How is it that I didn't know this? I was given to understand that you all had taken care of the arrangements. I heard you talking about it in my room when I woke up, thinking Lee was dead." Ken demanded.

Ming smiled wryly, "You should have awakened a little earlier in the conversation, my friend. We had been discussing our amazement that a man whose life had been despaired of not long before came back to himself with such determination. Word is that he wouldn't rest until he had ordered everything taken care of. The hospital accommodated him most freely, fearing another relapse and a lawsuit if they did not. A lawyer was in attendance not an hour after he awakened the first time, charged with seeing to everything that remained undone."

Ken ruminated on this information, trying to make sense of it. He had spent hours sitting at his friend's bedside, nearly a week of watching and worry, fearing for his continued unconsciousness. Had he not been as deeply unresponsive as Ken had believed, after all?

Had he wished to avoid Chow in the only way a sick man could?

And what else had he arranged?

"Go on," Ken prompted, fixing Ming with his most demanding glare, "There is more, isn't there?"

Ming glanced over to where Dick Lee sat, gazing disconsolately across the cemetery, yet looking away from the group of mourners.

"He arranged to sell his flat to fund a place for you and Siu Wah, to renovate your old home, if you wished it, or to buy another if you preferred not to return."

"So this mysteriously offered apartment..." Ken urged.

"Can be your permanent home if you wish it. Or another, if you do not. The money is all there. In trust. In Siu Wah's name. Dick felt that your pride would prevent you from accepting it in your own."

"He's rendered himself homeless, to provide for us?" Ken was deeply astonished and dismayed.

Ming nodded. "More or less. Nothing is truly known of any arrangements he has made for himself."

Ken shook his head disbelievingly. "It is too much."

"They say he feels he owes you a debt, Ken Gor, and is repaying it."

"It is too much." Ken repeated

"Uncle Dick looks lonely, Daddy," Siu Wah tugged on his father's hand.

"Yes he does, son. Lets go talk to him." Ken stated.

The other man did not look at them as they approached, instead drawing his gaze in from the distance to study his hands which were folded in his lap. Ken waved the nurse away, gesturing for privacy.

"My apologies, Ken Gor. I should not have come." Dick said.

"So your doctors say. If I had known you were here, you would have been with Siu Wah and I. You are part of our family, Dick." Ken stated.

Siu Wah stood in front of Dick Lee, frowning at his godfather, "Why won't you look at me, Uncle Dick? Don't you like Siu Wah any more?"

Lee's head snapped up, his expression stricken, "Siu Wah, no. Your Uncle loves you," Dick soothed, extending his arms out to the boy.

Siu Wah looked at the older man for a moment, then grinned. "Crane! Tiger!"

The boy assumed the kung fu stances that he and his uncle had often greeted each other with. The first full smile that Ken Chow had seen on his friend's features in some time, split Dick's face, and the day seemed suddenly brighter than before. He watched as Dick countered the boy's moves, then pulled him into his lap.

"We have missed you Uncle. When will you come to see us?" Siu Wah asked as he settled himself on Lee's lap.

Dick looked to Ken for the first time, the grin fading. "I don't know Siu Wah. Uncle might have to go away."

"Where?!" Siu Wah replied, his expression horrorstricken, "Why?"

Ken frowned at his friend. "Answer the boy," he urged, trying to keep his tone even.

Dick looked between father and son. "I've done some things, Siu Wah. I might have to pay for them. That might mean going away."

Chow knew that he did not speak of charges and possible prison time. That issue had been closed for several weeks now. While they certainly would not be rewarded for their vigilante actions--the press notwithstanding--the feared public backlash also meant that there would be no punishment either.

"You'd have to be well enough, first." Ken commented, watching as his son looked at Lee with confusion and sorrow. "I hear you don't even have a place to live, once they release you from the hospital."

Dick took a deep breath, "They have arranged for me to go to a rehabilitation center, next week."

Ken's eyes flicked over his friend's face. The rehabilitation center was little more than a glorified nursing home, a halfway house for those who did not have family to care for them while they recuperated. And it was a temporary solution at best.

"And after?" Ken prompted.

"I've thought about emigrating," Lee allowed. I have a distant relation in the States. He owns restaurants in New York."

"You've never been outside of Hong Kong in your life." Ken scoffed. "And where will you get the money? You've bankrupted yourself for us."

Dick seemed speechless for one of the few times in his life. He shrugged.

"I will not allow it. The apartment you arranged for us is large and will accommodate your coming to stay there. I am asking Ming and Wen to arrange to have your belongings moved there immediately. Unless you've sold those too."

Dick shook his head, "I will not accept, Ken."

Ken struggled to keep his temper in check. He'd been doing better at that lately, but the intractability of the man before him was fraying his nerves. He bent down to look at his son, holding out a hand to the boy.

"Siu Wah, run to your Uncle Ming over there. I have to yell at your Uncle Dick."

Siu Wah looked doubtfully from his father to his godfather. "You won't hit him, will you, Daddy?"

"Not unless I have to, son." Ken responded, keeping a level gaze on Lee. He watched as the boy gave Dick a quick hug.

"Remember, crane stance, peck, peck peck," the boy advised, before slipping off Lee's lap to do his father's bidding.

Ken stood before Dick Lee, crossing his arms, his face a thundercloud of anger.

"Do I look incompetent? Do you think I am incapable of providing for myself and my son? I did not ask you to sell everything you owned to finance my life and that of Siu Wah! We have resources, we have some savings, we would survive. You cannot erase what happened to Fan and my daughter by punishing yourself the way you have been. You have repaid your debt, many times over. Now let me begin to repay the debt I owe you!"

"You owe me nothing." Lee persisted.

Ken realized his friend was nothing if not stubborn.

"Only my life, and that of my son--only for the justice and peace you have brought my wife and and my daughter. Only those things." Ken stopped for breath, feeling a righteous anger beginning to take him over, "Dick Lee! You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and let your friends help you. You will not go to some rehabilitation center. Fan would not approve of your being released into the care of strangers, Dick Gor, and I will not dishonor her memory by allowing it! It is settled. Get used to the idea!"

Dick Lee opened his mouth as if to speak. Ken gestured him rudely to silence. "I know something more eats at you. That there is something you've never told me about that night. About Ted Yiu. I heard about the woman's body in the bus, Dick. I made some inquiries. I know you were seen with her, at the club. Even in the police station the day Yiu pressed charges against me. It was she who called you that night, wasn't it? She was mixed up with Yiu and his family, and involved with you as well. She called you away to preserve your life."

Lee blanched, the look he turned on Chow naked in its shock, horror and shame, "I--I had hoped you would never find out...."

"Are you now going to confess that you knew of the attack on my family beforehand, that this was all part of a plan you devised yourself? Is that what has stood between us since that night?" Ken hissed.

"NO!" Dick Lee cried, anger and indignation driving away the shame in his features, "I would never have done such a thing. I LOVED your family as my own, Ken, you know that. I would have done anything to protect them. When I realized what she had done, I left her, I ran back to your apartment...I did what I could!"

"Yes, you did. And more. It was not your fault, Dick Gor. I know that. I've known it since that night. But it was easier to berate you and drive you away than admit to myself that I might have taken more precautions. Protected my family better. Sent them away until after I had dealt with Yiu. Instead, I let you feel the blame, pushed you to throw away your own life."

"No Ken. I made my own decision. I do not regret any of it." Lee said quietly. "Yiu was a sick man. He deserved the fate he received. I am proud of my part in it."

"There has been too much death and destruction. We've come to a time to rebuild. You are still my friend, my brother. You are Siu Wah's godfather. You have responsibilities to the boy, to protect him, to see him through to manhood. You cannot do any of that in New York City. We will stay together until we are all well. And then we will go on. Because that is what Fan would have wanted. Who knows, if you still want emigrate in a few months, perhaps I will go with you. I have always wanted to visit the States."

Dick Lee looked up at his friend doubtfully, "You have never wanted to visit the States. You have a job to go back to. For Siu Wah's sake."

"No, I don't. I accepted an early retirement. The bosses were only too happy to accommodate my request. They never know what to do with a trouble maker, except get rid of them. I have simplified everyone's life. You on the other hand, still have a future on the police force. You've got a few years yet to retirement. You need to keep in mind your pension."

Dick looked pained, "I no longer have a stomach for it. Not when criminals can complain against good cops and kill with impunity. With my luck I would be assigned to Sir Wu's new district. Besides, my leg may never be the same. I've a mind to take a disability pension. They've offered it. Perhaps you are not the only troublemaker they want to be rid of."

Ken nodded, considering. It made sense that the higher ups would want to deal with them both quietly, to avoid a public outcry. For himself it did not matter, but he found himself feeling outraged for Dick. "You were a good cop. You don't deserve this."

"I like to ask for trouble." Dick said ironically, a genuine smile breaking across his face.

Ken shook his head. "You are coming to stay with us."

Dick shrugged, "Temporarily. I would still like to see New York."

"We will fix up my old flat and sell it. I'll pay for a vacation out of the profits. But for now, back to the hospital. Siu Wah and I will take you. No arguments."

Siu Wah chose that moment to come running back over, his small face a mixture of anxiety and curiosity. "Are you done yelling at Uncle Dick, yet, Daddy?" the child asked.

"For now, Siu Wah, I am." Ken responded, ruffling his son's hair affectionately. "But that could change at any moment."

"Be nice Daddy. We are all together again. Everything will be all right," the boy said, soothingly. He hopped up into Dick Lee's lap, "He is not so fierce as he seems, Uncle Dick. Do not worry, I will protect you."

Dick grinned at the boy, "I'm counting on it."

Ken allowed his features to relax into an answering smile. He moved behind the wheelchair, thinking to push it, only to be tapped on the shoulder by Dick's nurse, who pointed a finger at him and gestured him away.

"You are only out of the hospital a day yourself," she reminded, "No heavy lifting."

Ken shrugged, then grew thoughtful. He gestured to Dick, pointing from the nurse to Lee and back again. She was an attractive woman, young, with a good job. Fan would certainly approve.

Catching his meaning, Lee looked at him in mock horror, "Don't even think it," he warned, favoring him with a stern expression.

Ken smiled.